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matthewjameshk

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just go go and do it [May. 14th, 2008|05:41 am]
do it!

mj
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less art and more matter! [Mar. 12th, 2008|03:12 am]
[Current Location |my bed]
[mood | hopeful]
[music |onerepublic]

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Take risks and enjoy who you are.. life moves fast and it will not slow down for anyone. make sure to stop and take it in because it will pass you up in a heart beat.


question of the day: do you see what i see?

quote of the day: "steady feet don't fail me now"
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here we go again [Jan. 26th, 2008|03:53 pm]
[Current Location |still in her head!]
[mood |accomplished]
[music |the wallflowers]

so its official! im back in the music scene again.
i didnt realize how much i missed it.
it feels so good to be in the studio 4 days a week again.
the band is called THE RED LETTER LIE
we have:
(singer) keith.. with music on mtv's laguna beach, the hills, and next
(bass) sean.. from story told. was on the taste of chaos tour
(guitar) matt.. PR for mikal blue and epic records
(drums) mj.. from hope kills
we are signing this week with stephen short (who managed and got a 7 figure major record deal for augestanna)
we picked up steve b from third ear sound management to work as our sound, stage, and tour manager.
journey's bass player was kind enough to give us his personal studio.
we also picked up a $10,000 endorsement from hear tec. for sound and in-ear equipment.
and a full clothing endorsement from tosubo inc.
steve b. is in the works with VANS. for us, more info coming soon.
we will be recording in LA next month
so thats just a few things thats happening right now..
i will keep up updated

its weird, when i wasnt in a band for that 8 month span i felt like something was missing like i putting off what i was meant to do. i tried to mask it with poker and girls but it was hollow to say the least. i totally regret the last 8 months! if i could do it differently i wouldnt of got into the poker scene and spent all that time at a table with old men.. im not gonna lie i had some great times, met many people and heard more stories to last a life time but i was not for me.. also if i could rewind i would of not talked to her again. she should of never walked into that bar while we were playing because we both knew what was gonna happen. ive had some let downs but she is by far the biggest disappointment of them all. she was full of talk, but thats all it was.. talk! even though i still think about her you wont be hearing anything else on that subject again..

question of the day: are you ready?

quote of the day: "you want yumbo yack?"

mj
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no title will do it justice [Nov. 26th, 2007|01:09 am]
i will be the calm you seek.




when you look for it, it will not be found
but when you hold out for it, it finds you.
and it found us...


quote of the day: "the best things in life are not things"




mj
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swimming through the sea weeds [Nov. 2nd, 2007|12:55 am]
[Current Location |runninh through your veins]

time to wake up matthew.

confused as you are, you need to see whats important.
"god doesnt she look good in her underwear", that should not be the first thing that comes to mind when i think of you. its not fair!
i have got to get out, please let me go because i will not return with open arms. i have dreams i have ambitions and i actually have a shot. i cant repeat my past actions and expect a different outcome. that, my friends is the definition of insane. this is not to any one girl this is to all! i am restless and i am tired. you bore me. when i see you with that purse you so proudly wear and the 6 layers of make-up you wear to cover up any sign of imperfections that leaves your face looking like a milky piece of clay i want to know if she thinks we dont see it. girls, we see it! your attitudes make me cringe. sweetheart you are far from being original. no one owes you anything because your previous boyfriend walked all over you because you let him. everyone has had a bad relationship or a bad experience in the past, you are not the victim. it takes two! but most of us dont seem to get that!
there are a handful of girls out there that dont fall into this category but they are rare. so when you find your "diamond in the ruff" hold her high, let her know what she really is.
i believe any guy can get any girl he wants, and i truly believe that. its all how you go about it. timing, body language, and the element of surprise, not in a creepy way!!! with those three factors the sky is the limit. but you have to *swim through the sea weeds to find the pearl*.



late night chapters
mj
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(no subject) [Oct. 30th, 2007|02:58 am]
Here is your broken character, the one left of heaven.
Scissors cut him from the page, example,
continue to read not to retrace the steps, touch me.
The hemorrhaging has ceased, has ceased.

And I swallow these capsules, to regain my grip.
And I swallowed myself sick. And I inherited my health.

Here is your wake and smile, that you seem to need.
The safe and the touch, and the unweave.
Right where you placed it the night before,
Saint checks in to make sure,
you're right where you say that you are,
right where you are.

They all seem so truthful,
they all seem so true.
Couldn't find a better way to lie.
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hi hi hi :) [Oct. 24th, 2007|02:54 am]
so its been quite some time now since i have posted a new entry..
so here goes nothing..
well if you dont know i got the gig that i was hoping for and it is going great, we will have new music very soon. there is a lot of things planned for us and we have many options to choose from..
we are planning to move to LA in jan. but we will see, you never know whats to come. things move very fast and its hard at times to keep up.
now to the love life..
some would say i have my hands full but i couldnt disagree more..
truthfully i have yet to find what im looking for, well not looking but holding out for.. I JUST WANT DEPTH and if you dont know what im talking about then you have bigger problems then reading my crap!
i think im crazy! i still think of her, not because i try or even want to but it seems like everything reminds me of her.
like for example i was watching V for vendetta and the quote comes up, "remember remember the 5th of november" and that just happens to be her birthday.. haha what the hell.
or when i was at work i someone gave me a basket of corn bread (inside joke)
but still, why that!? who gives someone corn bread!? haha
oh yes i can keep going.. haha and i will
or we can go to the most obvious one, everytime i see a dam ambulance.
or how about when ever we are in a group and we all try to agree on a place to eat, someone always and i mean always says "hey lets go to claim jumpers"..
now its not like i try to avoid these things and i dont even let it bother me but it just makes me think of her and i would rather not!
but im not gonna lie if i saw her again i would probably melt.
i have canceled the last 4 dates i was supposed to go on and dont ask me why.
ehh who knows.


mj
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p.s. [Sep. 20th, 2007|01:13 am]
fuck you! eat a dick!
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you never know who reads this shit [Sep. 17th, 2007|12:21 am]
"if you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all"
so this is what i have to say:































mj
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the day has come [Sep. 10th, 2007|10:55 am]
i got the gig i have been waiting for!
i start tuesday!!!!!!
friday is going to be interesting.. she agreed to come meet the folks!
kinda nervous about it.. i dont remember the last girl who met them..
and i have kept it that way for a reason until now
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(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2007|06:27 am]
I know I've been mistaken

But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made

I've got some imperfections

But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face




But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting

And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting




I hope you're not intending

To be so condescending it's as much as i can take

and you're so independent

you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break




But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting

And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting




I've made a commitment

I'm willing to bleed for you

I needed fulfillment

I found what I need in you




Why can't you just forgive me

I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way

But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting

I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting




But you always find a way

To keep me right here waiting

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting

And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting
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no need for a title [Sep. 2nd, 2007|11:04 am]
[Current Location |in your thoughts]
[mood | cold]
[music |foo fighters]

"wow" HA.. BULLSHIT!
this one is deep...
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SOME corn bread [Aug. 28th, 2007|12:08 am]
[mood |geeky]
[music |taking back sunday]

i dont know where to start..
from the beginning will do.
it started when i woke up to a song i havent heard in months.. the song was "hands down" by dashboard. it was my phone ringing, i forgot i had it set to one person. i tried to play it cool but even texting i was nervous. we made plans to have dinner that night and catch up even though i knew it would set me up for another fall. we met at claim jumpers.. when i got there i sat in my car for a min and thought to my self maybe i shouldnt do this. it was funny it was like i was a teenage kid going on his first date, sitting in front of her house debating weather or not to go through with it. i thought to myself for a second, maybe i should just cancel. but then i thought i might not get another chance to see her. but what if i went in there and made a complete fool of myself? this is something i wanted for a long time and i was gonna see it thorugh. when i walked in i saw her sitting by herself, wow! you would think its not possible for some to become more beautiful in a few months but let me tell you, its possible! she looked amazing to say the least.
as soon as she saw me she had that smile on her face like when she first passed me in front of my work. when we were waiting for our table it was just like old times talking, laughing, making fun of some random guy who flicks his tongue and wears a shirt 4 times too small. when we sat at the table i really got a good look at her. it fell right back in to place, it just clicked. i was amazed how well it went. i was amazed that i could still feel the same after that period of time.
but its time for me to come back to reality now. time for me to see that i havent got a chance in hell. she is engaged and lives an hour and a half away. i knew going in there would just tease me. well at least i got a couple of answers i was looking for. one of them being, yes, there is such a thing as perfect but lets keep that just between me and you.
there was so much more i wanted to say to her that i didnt have the courage to say. i just hope i get the chance to say them...

quote of the night: "she will smile and i will melt, and when the day comes where she will smile because of me, she will melt".

question of the night: what will the next chapter bring?

remember what you read here stays here

mj
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leaving this town and the 3 woman of my life [Aug. 21st, 2007|02:40 am]
[Current Location |in your thoughts]
[mood |accomplished]
[music |saison]

i know there is more to this life im leading then a small town called vallejo.
im tired of let down after let down. i was in a great band here but it was so small compared to what i hope to become. i have been thinking about what it is im doing here and the outcome was unsatisfying to say the least. i truly feel alone here, no this is not some emo rant where im depressed and want people to feel sorry for me. actually this will be a good chapter in my saga. i feel like im stuck in a hole that i have dug myself into and i need to get out and breathe. i need to live! come next month i will be moving out of the area for a couple of years and will be going to school.
i will be living in hollywood where i can chase this dream of mine.
this will be one of the hardest things i have ever done. i have waited for a sign for me to stay and everything points towards me leaving. i will miss my friends dearly and my family even more.

i was asked the other day : "matt, who are the 3 girls in your past that stand out the most and why"?
my answer was:

julia AKA the first one:
she was my first actual love. we had the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. every time i think of her, even to this day i picture us having kids and her being a great mother. i remember her taking care of me so well when i needed it. she sacrificed so much for me and if i ever saw her again i would tell her i took it for granted and im sorry. no one thought we were right for eachother but that didnt matter to me. i dont blame her for most of her actions. we were young and she was going into college and that will totally change anyone. i wish i met her now, i would hold on to her and never let go. she was so geeky behind closed doors with her wierd noises and ugly pig faces. :) with looks that could kill she had the greatest sense of humor and the most warming laugh. she was a princess at heart and she sure acted like one. stubborn as hell but sweet. she was my bug. i have JW tattooed on my left arm and i will never get it removed, i made a promise and i attend to keep it. we will meet again soon...

cyn AKA the mature one:
she was the one girl that you meet and everything just seems to good to be ture. she, by far is the smartest and most mature out of the three. we met out of town and and didnt listen to "what happen here stays here". she was so pretty and glowed with happiness. she is the kind of girl who can just make things feel right. she always knew exactly what to say and when to say it. her laugh would just make me feel at home. we stopped dating because i was to chicken to see what came next. she moved to boston to attend harvard.
i thought about her for months after and still think about her to this day.
we talked for time to time and i blew it the second time by doing what i know best! she is coming into town soon and who knows, maybe a game of scrabble will be played:)..

desiree AKA the driven one:
now this one will be a little harder to explain then the other two. we didnt have much time together but for some reason it had a great impact on me.
she was the girl with the sky as the limit. she had everything going for her. she was one of the most beautiful girls i have ever seen and i fell for her right when i saw her. with a style all on its own, she was one of those girls that when you see them you just have to say something no matter what. i met her at my old work. i was walking out and she was walking in. as we past one another she smiled at me and i almost melted. i said to my buddy right then and there "i have to get to know her".
five minutes later she was in my store by herslef and we started talking.
i really thought we had something until i blew it. i mean really blew it. i was at a very low point in my life, i wasnt doing ANYTHING i was supposed to. and on top of that i lied to her, which by the way im sorry for that. she was one of the girls that i let get away by my actions. shorty after she left i got my shit together and wanted a second chance but she got engaged to her ex boyfriend, which by the way for the record i think is a total dutch bag!
so i could show her how right it would of been for us to be together. i was never ready to give up the fight. she texted me the other night and my stomach dropped. i know i shouldnt of talked to her but i couldnt help it.
it was short and sweet but i expect nothing from her at all.

so there you have it.. will they read this? who knows, but i will tell you this.. im proud to of had the chance. they have helped shape me to who i am and what i want.
so i thank you all for what each of you have done, good or bad.

quote of the night: "you're not alone, there is more to this i know, you can make it up and you will make it out and you will live to tell"

question of the night: will i find what im looking for in hollywood?

remember! what you read here stays here.

love and late night memories
MJ
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the stars that night [Aug. 16th, 2007|01:49 am]
why does it all come rushing back like it was yeaterday?
so what should i "expect"? let down.. how lame am i?
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2007|12:21 am]
so a lot has happened in such a short time..
im am still waiting for the word on the gig.
i have a new roommate.
im re-doing my place, and i mean everything! lighting, bathrooms, paint, paintings, kicthen, bedrooms..
i miss harvard.
i got a new kit.
im finnishing my sleeves.
im gettign a new car finally!!!!
i dont waste my time with pointless relationships anymore.
i have cut down my circle of friends.
i work everyday
i want depth
i had it and then i stepped back for no reason, im sorry
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letter to you [Jul. 11th, 2007|11:22 am]
dear .......,
i cant stop thinking about you.
i want it back but it will never happen
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you either have it or you dont [Jun. 30th, 2007|11:40 pm]
yet another chapter in this saga called my life..
this past month has been more then eventful. having no time for anything or anyone is starting to take its toll on me. im finding out im not in the "loop" as much as i was.. i miss everyone but i have to do this for myself..
there is only one drummer standing in my way now.

i have a shit load to write in this thing but i HAVE to get back to studying.

it all gonna be worth it, i promise. because if i get this im finally gonna get out of here. i will finally be on the road seeing what life has to offer. i will be making music videos and broadcasting on the radio. i will be on stage at all the venues where i saw my favorite bands play just wishing to be them. i will be in a different city every night meeting new people. hotels and bus's. huge crowds and back stages rooms with our name on it. playing drums for a living. writing letters home. photo shoots. meeting with all the labels my favorite bands are on. and i will be getting paid for all of it.
so for those who said i wasnt gonna do it, this is for you.
im not there yet but.. i can taste it...
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just this once please!!!!! [Jun. 8th, 2007|11:28 pm]
please let me get this drumming position..
i need it
just give this one thing to me.. please!!
well the odds are against me.
we will see...
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death bed [Jun. 6th, 2007|01:28 am]
[Current Location |in your dreams]
[mood | calm]
[music |coldplay]

hold my hand son
last words
listen to me
i have taught you what not to be
i was gone
now im leaving
i dont want to
but everyone goes
why dad
what made you do it
i needed you
tubes everywhere
fear
fear of failure
i will fix you
son i think of you everyday
holding it back
tell me something
remember me as i am now
please
you're a man now
forced to grow up
more of a man then i am
your brother didnt come
tell my story
i will watch over you
but i have so much to learn
i dont know the story
im trying my best
i need you to listen
i love you son
stop crying
last words
if i could do it over again i would have never of left your side
you have your mothers eyes
thank her for that
i love you son more then you will ever know i just didnt show it right
long steady beep
close his eyes with your hand
wipe your cheeks


*look at the bright side at least you dont have to go through this. so when you have a terrible day its not as bad as you think
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